Now that is one attractive title if ever I have seen one! The week has been filled with exactly that. Oh and don’t tarnish Riley with the word ‘meltdown.’ All three of us have been melting down! I’m so glad I held off writing this post earlier because believe you me you’d be thinking ‘my gosh, what a drama queen!’ Truth be told I think I acted like a bit of a drama queen *hands over eyes*
So whats been happening…?
On Monday I skipped the beach hut event with SNAAP. I was too scared to venture out with the kids on my own being the summer holidays and all.
Tuesday I cancelled a lunch date with a friend because I had a terrible night with both kiddies and was feeling sorry for myself. Plus I was too worried to go out again!
Wednesday was a day from hell. Summer decided to redecorate half my living room with black crayon.
Buddy did a huge poo on the stairs. Riley dug elbows deep in this smearing all over himself, down the stairs and around the kitchen! Then once I had bathed Riley and shampoo’d the carpet from top to bottom of the house.
There was still more to come! Riley had poo’d and stuck his hands down the side of his nappy. I think you can guess for yourself this was another shit smearing incident! Talk about no rest for the wicked!!
Thursday I decided I would get the hell outta the house. I always struggle where to take the kiddies because everything needs over planning. It’s not as simple as just saying ‘right lets go to the park’ I need the park to be enclosed, danger free for Riley and not too big so I can keep an eye on both kiddies. Also I need to be able to park the car close by so Riley doesn’t have to walk far…I mean, I won’t have to carry Riley too far! Hythe is always my go to. We have a little routine where we usually do a round trip. Starting at Waitrows, we buy some snacks, fruit and a couple of loaves of bread to feed the birds. We walk along the canal and over to a large field. The kids run free and I feel safe enough to let them both go. We’ll then have a walk to the beach, feed the birds and visit the library park on the way back to the car. Easy peasy I thought…yeah right!
It was the first day I had ventured out with the new buggy that Caudwell charities had helped fund towards. I thought I’d been very clever purchasing a buggy board for Summer. Hmm, lets just say we made it along the canal to the library park and back feeding the duck pretty much by the car. Summer plain refused to stand or even sit on the buggy board making me carry her most of the way there and back.
The photos and after video looks like a perfectly fun and well handled day…it wasn’t! I was as red as a tomato running around like a blue arsed fly trying to keep the kids either together or close by and keep an eye on the buggy with everything but our kitchen sink in! Riley wanted to linger in the corner of the field and Summer wanted to be dead centre running around screaming with the other children. I however wanted a huge glass of wine and an extra pair of hands. It was so hard to try to keep them both happy but also safe. I have seen some really horrible videos of people snatching your children and it really scares me! We all slept well that evening though!
Friday was a pretty shitty day again. I managed to get the kiddies dressed but I hung around the house finding every excuse possible to not get myself dressed. I was so sick of seeing other people’s photos on social media of what fun they were all up to! (please don’t hate me for saying that)
It kills me that we can’t just nip to the beach to throw stones in the sea and scoff an ice cream together. Or squander our 2p’s at the arcades and eat fish and chips on the beach for tea. We can’t nip to the park without over thinking, over planning and over packing ‘just in case’ It really is something else having a child with Autism. Don’t get me wrong (it goes without saying) I love my little boy to the moon and back but if I could wish him the life I always dreamt he’d have I would in a heartbeat!!!!!
In the end I came up with the fantastic idea I would wait for it…go to Whitstable Tesco. Wow I really know how to spoil the kiddies during the holidays, ay! Playing it safe I could park close by in a disabled bay, grab a double trolley, iPad’s were packed. I could grab 6 packs of nappies (3 for £10 and saves me another trip next week!) and some chicken pies for dinner and we’d be in and out in a flash. We arrived and this happened…
I sat in the car and honestly I could have cried. I shit you not I think it broke me slightly. Seriously what do you do? Wake the kids up and put them in the trolley thinking tough shit this needs to be done…no that’s mean! Put Riley in the buggy and hopefully Summer would walk so I could carry the 6 bags of nappies on one arm whilst pushing the buggy? That’s not a gamble I wanted to risk. Instead I drove to the centre of Whitstable to a very small Tesco express thinking I could park outside, run in and leave the kids in the car. To cut a long story short I got everything but the nappies as that Tesco’s doesn’t sell them! I headed back to the big Tesco thinking screw the pies I know where the nappies are I’ll run straight in and out. FML there was one pack of 6+ nappies on the shelf! I left with Pampers in the end (they’re too small for Riley) needs must and all that! What a palarva!
On the way home I stopped off at a park in Chesterfield, it was the first time I had taken the kids there but it always looked enclosed when I had passed it before. Summer was awake but I had to wake Riley up. After trying out the swings the roundabout and the seesaw we left. Talk about centre of attention everyone wanted to have a nose at us. Riley wasn’t up for the park and it was meltdown central.
Today I’m feeling a little better as I have managed to write quite a few outstanding blog post reviews. I had quality time eating breakfast and cuddles with Summer this morning whilst Riley slept. Then Riley and I spent quality time on the trampoline together whilst Summer napped this afternoon. I also filmed a much-needed vlog which can be found in my previous post from today ‘Boolino book review’ – http://clarelee.co.uk/wp-admin/post.php?post=3652&action=edit (have a nosey, I know you want to)
Next week onwards I have lots planned with the kiddies. Most of which is either with the SNAAP charity or with Portage (special needs) I think I feel more relaxed as I know the areas will all be safe, child friendly and enclosed. I will be able to let Riley and Summer both loose without a worry in the world as there will be people there to support me. Events like this make a huge difference to us as a family as it almost makes me for one feel ‘normal’ again. Roll on to better weeks!
A few things are niggling at me though –
I had a consultation with a lady from Guy’s hospital regarding the genetic test results. Basically Riley’s pediatrician had said the cause of Riley’s autism was because of something to do with my chromosomes. However this extremely jumped up yet very knowledgeable woman seemed to think this wasn’t solely the cause of Riley’s autism. She questioned the size of his head in which I explained he’s has an MRI scan to check for fluid. She mentioned the birth and how a suction cup was used. This has left me with all kinds of thoughts, worry and led to lack of sleep…again! Is there more to Riley’s diagnosis? I always had a gut feeling the birth and the way we were treated wasn’t right but as soon as I got my little boy home all I wanted to do was love and care for him. I wish I had followed up on my complaint!
My blog name ‘Mumsy Mum’ it’s doing my head in! Today I have bought a new domain name and I have decided I am going to create a new website, new logo, new blog. It is going to be a little something for everyone. My blog name is automatically tarnished as a ‘Mummy blogger’ and therefore I feel I am missing out on other opportunities I would be very interested in. It’s my own fault I guess because I chose that name but now that I have had a taste of what It feels like to blog, vlog and review I know the kind of direction I’d like to go in. I still don’t have a niche nor do I want one. I am my own person, my own blogger and I have my own rules and this chick is going to write how she wants when she wants and about what she wants.
Summer and preschool in September. On the last day on term Summer went into preschool with Riley for a taster session. Although this would mean the first time in a very long time I would be child free I knew not to get my hopes up as nothing is ever that simple for me. To cut it really short Riley had a meltdown so I took home with me and I had to go back and collect Summer after just half an hour as she was kicking and screaming the preschool asked me to collect her! Little to say I am feel very anxious about sending her in September. The time I have been counting down and looking forward to is now the time I most dread. Where has the last year gone with my little Riley at preschool?! Another year and he will be at school. I’m not ready for all this change!
Riley attending the special needs preschool. I have heard quite a lot of negative feedback along with experiencing enough first hand to want to pull my beautiful little boy out come September. On the last day before the kids broke up I didn’t take Riley in, there wasn’t so much as a phone call to see if he was ok. Considering the ratio is 1:1 that’s pretty shitty no one bothered to check in on us. I’m really unsure what to do. My gut is telling me to pull him out!
Having a dog is the equivalent to having another child. I got Buddy (a chocolate labrador) specifically for Riley to help with his autism as research has shown this can help with social skills in Autism. 7 months later and only now am I starting to see bonding. I don’t think I thoroughly thought the idea through and I certainly didn’t think about how much cleaning would be involved. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I hoover in the day or mop the floors my house still feels unclean and smells like dog, any advice? Does this get better? I was hoping what with it being Summer things would get easier and less messy but nope!
iPad apps, are there any you can recommend? Riley seems to listen to nursery rhymes over and over again with the odd shape app there and then. I know Riley is behind developmentally can you suggest of any educational games or apps?